It’s a day late, but here’s my resolution for the New Year:
In 2010, I will destroy Dennis Blunden.
Let me explain.
As everyone with even a whit of pop cultural wherewithal is well awarewithal, Dennis Blunden was a character on the mid-to-late eighties sitcom, Head of the Class. You know, the fat one. But you may not know that the kid who played Dennis Blunden, Dan Schneider, grew up to be a big time small time kinda medium time Hollywood producer whose oeuvre consists primarily of the low-grade tweenish-targeted dreck that Nickelodeon’s glutted with these days, shows like iCarly, Zoe 101, Kenan & Kel. If it features wisecrackin’ kids that can’t quite act confidently spouting the sort of jokes that were stale and formulaic when Alex P. Keaton was last a going concern, Dan Schneider (née Blunden) is probably the one to blame for it.
Anyway, Danny boy’s got himself one of those blogs you’ve been hearing so much about these days called DanWarp. I don’t quite remember the chain of links that led me there, but while I was there I noticed that, according to his little Google Widget, Dennis Blunden’s blog is followed by 243 people. That’s not a lot by fancy pants Hollywood standards, but it’s only 35 more than this little blog o’mine.
So I think I can take him.
I know Got Medieval‘s been mostly fallow over the last few months, in danger of falling into an all saints all the time format, but that’s changing in 2010. Don’t worry, the feast calendars aren’t going anywhere, but I’m going to kick it into high gear on the other fronts. For real, yo. Because now I’ve got a goal: by year’s end, I want to be able to wow people at cocktail parties by casually dropping the fact that my blog’s got more followers than Dennis Blunden’s blog into conversations.*
Mano-a-mano, blogo-a-blogo, meo-a-heo–it’s on. It’s so on. 2010 will go down in the history books as the year a niche academic blog toppled the mighty Hollywood elite.
Dennis Blunden must die.**
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*Without them calling me the next day and being all “I checked and you’ve actually got thirty-five fewer followers than him, loser”.
**And by “die,” I mean “obtain 35 fewer net new readers over the course of the year”.